Sudden dizziness, weakness, or faintness - Weakness, check.
Sudden headache - Pounding headache at temples, check.
Little or no sweating - Nope, no sweating, check.
Hot and dry skin - Oh yeah, check.
High body temperature, typically 102°F or higher - 102.3, check.
Rapid heartbeat - Hmmm, BEAT... BEAT... BEAT... BEAT... Check.
Muscle cramps - Big time, check!
Vomiting - So far just queasy... so kinda check.
Coma - Well if I'm typing this, I'd say no.
Big Dumb Idiot and bad bad bad for making fun of Fat Boy for wearing SPF 50, when obviously my 30 wasn't cutting it... CHECK!!!